Upstream

I’m meeting my sister at a coffee shop in town today. She’s a classic “be there in 5” kinda gal, and I usually end up with a couple hours of free time before catching her.

I should probably sit here, sip my coffee & work on something productive…

but I’m a little too restless to wait for her here. I think I’ll walk down the road a bit to the edge of the river. 

I grew up by a little creek. I’d sit on a huge concrete block — leftovers from an old dam — and watch the logs and leaves float by. The river is much larger but gives me that same nostalgic feeling. 

As I look out over the river today, I can’t help but notice that there are several logs floating by- more than usual. I wonder what’s happening upstream? 

When there’s rain, it sends mud into the water downstream. I can always tell when there’s been a festival, too, because I’ll find trash floating downstream. 

I’m wondering about my life, now.

If I walked down to my stream-of-consciousness I wonder what surprising thing I’d find floating through my mind.

“Oh, there’s more anxiety than this time last year. I wonder if there’s a financial decision upstream…”

“Look at that! There’s a lot of shame bubbling up from underneath. Someone must have dumped that in the water upstream.” 

Sometimes we don’t know why certain things are floating through our minds and sometimes it doesn’t matter. But occasionally when the anxiety is high and the shame starts to rise, it’s worth it to travel a few miles upstream and find the source. 

I wouldn’t have thought about this at all if I’d stayed at the coffee shop in the name of productivity. We’re usually too caught up in tasks and to-do’s to take the time to observe the river or observe our internal world. 

Take some time today–

Make some time today to observe yourself.

Consider what’s floating through your mind and out of your mouth. Consider what’s just upstream, affecting you here and now.  

The Word of the Lord promises rivers of living water. If our experience is something different, it’s worth it to travel upstream and find out why.