Dear Lily, I searched for you
Dear Lily,
I was sitting in a van on my way to Bangkok when I first heard your name. I heard it like a whisper in my memory, although I’d never met you before. The Spirit of God whispered your name in my ear and, in my mind’s eye, I saw a small girl standing in an open field.
I thought then that you’d be a little girl when I met you. How could I have known anything more than what the Spirit of the Lord had showed me?
When we walked through the redlight district that night I thought you’d find me somehow. Maybe we’d bump into each other or I’d recognize you. I didn’t imagine there would be many small children in a place like that.
So I waited.
After an hour or so, I was absolutely overcome by a wild sense of urgency. I had to find you! So I lept off my chair and walked down the street, stopping at every entrance to every strip club asking,
“Is Lily here? Do you know a girl named Lily? Have you seen Lily?”
Bar after bar, club after club, I was rejected.
No one knew who I was looking for.
Finally, I came to Cowboy II. “Is Lily inside?” I asked. I thought my heart would burst when the woman at the door said, “YES.” Surely she could feel my heart beating out of my chest when she took my hand and led me inside to where you were.
It surprised me that you were a grown woman, not the little girl I had seen in my mind’s eye (although, I must admit you looked terribly young to me).
I was surprised again when, after sharing a few sentences in English, you suddenly couldn’t understand what I was saying.
Why did you run away when I offered to pray with you?
Even after you left, I continued to pray. It was then that I heard a song in my heart:
“More than words, more than good ideas… I found your LOVE in the open fields.”
In my mind’s eye, I saw the Lord take the street with all the bars and strip clubs and shake it out into the air like a tablecloth. When he laid it back down, he’d replaced the dark, crowded, neon street with a bright, green and gold, peaceful field.
“More than words, more than good ideas… I found your LOVE in the open fields.”
Lily I have no idea what was running through your mind when I came looking for you in the club.
I have no idea what was running through your mind when you turned and ran from the offer of prayer.
I have no idea what was running through your mind when you laid awake in bed that next morning, before falling asleep.
What I do know is this: YOU are running through my mind. You’re a little girl, wild and free, dancing in the open field of God’s outrageous love for you.
And he is running after you.
YOU are running through his mind. You are the recipient of his affection, the intention of his love, and the single ambition of his never-ending pursuit.
He will knock on every single door of every single club in every single country in the whole wide world to find you. And he’s knocking on the door of your heart even now asking,
“Is my Lily here? Have you seen her?”
Wherever, whenever, however he finds you, ALWAYS remember this: When he knocks on the door of your heart, you don’t have to run.
